


mind over matter

by peachsneakers



Series: preservation of the self [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Cuddling, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intrulogical, Intrusive Thoughts, Kissing, M/M, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Panic Attacks, Past Suicide Attempt, Remus typical stuff, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Remus Sanders, Way fluffier than previous installments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-11 15:01:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 15,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20548094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Logan doesn't know what feelings are, but he knows he has them every time he looks Remus's way.





	1. blue screen

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the intrulogical

"Hey, Logan," Remus says, as the others start debating what movie to watch. Logan peers down at him.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Did you know I like you?"

"Hmm?" Logan asks. "What do you mean?"

"I like you," Remus says, stressing the second word.

"Oh," Logan says. "Friends? I like you, too, I am pleased that-" Remus huffs out an exasperated breath and shoots to his feet, his hand snagging Logan's and towing him out of the cuddle pile.

"Be right back," Remus tosses over his shoulder, pulling Logan into the kitchen.

"Remus, what's the matter?" Logan asks. Remus chews on his bottom lip.

"You're too _logical_, that's the matter," Remus blurts out. A tiny blossom of hurt wells up in Logan's chest. Remus must see it in his eyes because he immediately shakes his head. "No, no, that's not what I mean, it's not a _problem_, I just-

"I mean, I _really, really_ like you. _Like_ you, like you."

Oh.

_Oh._

Logan's mouth drops open in surprise as a thousand tiny pieces of a jigsaw puzzle he didn't even know he was playing slot themselves into place.

"Do you- I mean, it's cool if you don't feel the same way, I'll probably wanna lie down in front of a train or jump off a cliff, but let's be real, I always wanna do that, so it really is no big deal," Remus rambles before Logan stops him cold with a single sentence.

"I think- I think I do."

"_Really?_" Remus's smile is blinding, filling Logan's vision like the first illuminating rays of a sunrise. Logan clears his throat, unaccountably tongue-tied.

"I am...unfamiliar with the concept of love, but I know that I enjoy conversing with you," Logan says. "And I- I was deeply concerned about your well-being when the giant octopus mishap happened, as well as when your intrusive thoughts were particularly bad. I also enjoy sharing octopus facts with you and my room is open to you at any time. And I-" Logan clears his throat. "I know that we all share the same face, but I do find you attractive."

"You like me," Remus crows. "You like, like, _like_ me." He seizes Logan around the shoulders and pulls him into a bone-crushing hug, leaving Logan breathless for a moment before Remus pulls back. "Sorry," Remus says, his face reddening. 

"It's- it's okay," Logan says, a tiny smile forming on his face. He feels very, very warm inside, and he's sure it must show on his face. Remus laughs, breathless, and places his forehead against Logan's. This close, Logan can feel how much warmth the other side puts off.

"Remus, are you okay?" Roman shouts from the living room. "What did you do with Logan? Thomas won't stop blushing and all he can say is Logan's name."

"I blue screened you," Remus says, his eyes wide in wonder. "Oops."

"I'm not sorry," Logan informs him. Remus grins.

"In that case," he says, before shouting back to his brother. "We're being gay!"

"_What?!_" Roman sputters from the other room, and Logan can't stop laughing.


	2. remus and logan, sitting in a tree

Deceit laughs when he hears Remus's exuberant declaration from the kitchen.

"Took them long enough," he murmurs. Roman looks at him in confusion.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks. Deceit arches one eyebrow as high as it will go.

"Really?" He asks. "I suppose you've been indisposed in various ways over the past few days, but your brother's head over heels for Logan, and it's blatantly obvious he feels the same way."

"Oohhh," Patton squeals in delight, clasping his hands together. "No wonder Logan asked me why I was looking at Remus last night!"

"That's so gay," Thomas contributes from the floor.

"My brother and _Logan_?" Roman asks in disbelief.

"I think they're good for each other," Patton says stoutly. "Just look at what it was like for Remus in Logan's room. He calmed down so much and he got that book on octopuses. And you know Logan doesn't lend out his books willy nilly."

"He won't even let me have one," Roman grumbles.

"That's because the last time he did, it ended up pinned to a tree by sword-point in the imagination when you got carried away," Virgil enters the conversation, laughter flavoring his voice. "It took him three days to fix it. Of course you aren't allowed."

"But _Remus_-" Roman complains, just as Remus and Logan come back. Logan's more sedate, although Deceit can see the grin just waiting to bloom beneath the surface. Remus has no such compunctions, twirling and dancing his way over to the cuddle pile.

"Logan _likes_ me," he announces brightly, his voice shaded with wonder that anyone ever could. "Like we're boyfriends. We're boyfriends, right?" He turns to Logan, whose smile blossoms like a particularly fragile bloom.

"If you would like to be, then yes," Logan answers carefully. Remus turns back to the others, vibrating in place.

"_Boyfriends_," he confides.

"I'm delighted for you, Remus," Deceit says. "And you, too, of course, Logan."

"Thank you," Logan says, inclining his head. "I've never...had a boyfriend before. I am not entirely sure what it entails."

"Ooh, I know!" Remus exclaims. "Dates and hugging and snuggling and kissing and fu-"

"That's enough of that!" Roman interrupts, his face heating and turning bright red.

"You negotiate," Virgil volunteers. "Like. Remus isn't wrong? But it just uh. Depends on what _you_ wanna do, Logan. You don't _have_ to do all that."

"I feel overwhelmed," Logan admits. "But thank you. All of you." He bestows a fond look on Remus. Deceit has no doubt that if they were in the imagination, Remus would be floating mid-air, hearts circling his head. Actually confessing his feelings seems to have released them all, and Deceit has a hard time believing that's a bad thing. 

"I think it's time for breakfast," Patton says, tactfully changing the subject. "And Thomas, you should probably return to the real world."

"Why? Is it like eating with the fae?" Thomas asks. Deceit notices that his logical thought processes seem to have come back. Good. Logan must be coming to terms with his feelings then.

"I don't think so," Logan says, adjusting his glasses. "However, I doubt it would be very filling. You need nutrition, Thomas, it's important for a well-balanced diet, and a proper day's work."

"All right, all right," Thomas says, sighing. "I guess I'll go back."

"I'll come with you," Patton volunteers. "Just to make sure you get back safely." Deceit nods in agreement. He doesn't want Thomas to make any left turns into Albequerque, after all.

"I'll be right back," Patton says, and sinks out, Thomas in tow.

"Do you think it's possible to make a pancake shaped like an ass?" Remus asks brightly, grinning at Roman's outraged shriek.


	3. you'll never know what hit you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is short but
> 
> there will be angst
> 
> and also i wrote a super long chapter for "disturbance of the peace" so :p

Remus doesn't know how he lived before this. Happiness fills his veins, fizzing and popping like champagne bubbles. He feels like he could fly. He could jump out of an airplane and coast safely to the ground, parachute be damned. He could-

Well, he could do a _lot_.

"Here, Remus," Logan says, pulling a chair out for him. Remus blinks in surprise at the courteous gesture. No one's ever done that for him before. He plops down.

"Thank you," he says, grinning so hard his face hurts. It feels like it could split in two, all the skin ripping in half and blood spurting everywhere like ketchup on a plate of scrambled eggs.

Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't eat very much food.

"Really, Remus?" His brother asks, making a revolted face, and Remus realizes he must have muttered all of that out loud. Thankfully, only Logan and Roman seem to have heard.

"Sorry," he says, hunching in on himself. Logan settles a gentle hand on his shoulder, and warmth blooms from the contact, radiating outward.

"It's all right, Remus," Logan says. "We just won't have scrambled eggs for breakfast. That should handle it satisfactorily, right, Roman?" Roman hesitates, then nods.

"Can we have bacon?" Remus asks hopefully. "I liked the bacon."

"I don't see why not," Logan says. "Would you-" He pauses, and Remus can see the tips of his ears pinken. "Would you like to try some toast with Crofters on it? I have a variety of flavors you might like."

"Sure," Remus says at once. He has no idea if he likes toast or Crofters, but he knows he likes that shy little smile on Logan's face, and that's more than enough for him.

"Would you like cherry or blueberry?" Logan asks, sticking two slices of bread in the toaster.

"Both," Remus says automatically. He expects Logan to tell him to pick one and stick to it, but instead, Logan just shrugs.

"All right," he says.

"You should feel lucky, Remus," Deceit says, a slight smile tugging at his lips. "I don't believe Logan likes to share his Crofters with _anyone_."

"My boyfriend is, of course, an exception," Logan says mildly, carrying the toast back to the table and setting it in front of Remus. He then retrieves the jam from the pantry and sits down next to Remus, carefully spreading the two different flavors on each slice. This close, Remus can smell Logan's shampoo. It smells kind of herbal-y and woodsy, and Remus likes it a lot.

"Thanks," Remus says, picking up a piece of toast and biting into it. He likes the taste of the fruit spread more than he thought he would. Cherry fills his mouth, infiltrating his taste buds, and he wiggles in his chair, unable to express his emotions any other way.

"Do you like it then?" Logan asks dryly. Remus grins around his mouthful of toast and nods.

"Hey, guys?" Virgil breaks into their conversation. The eyeshadow under his eyes seems to have intensified. "What's taking Patton so long?"


	4. the dark side

"Remus and Logan, huh?" Thomas asks, grinning foolishly. Patton beams next to him.

"I think it's sweet," he says. "And Logan does seem to have a calming effect on him. He's quite a _cat_-ch." He winks at Thomas, making onesie paws. Thomas laughs.

"Well, I _batter_ get back to breakfast," Patton says. "Remember to eat, too!"

"I will," Thomas promises. Patton waves, sinking down. Lost in thought about Remus's confession to Logan, he doesn't notice that something's gone wrong until he slams into a wall.

A very _dark_ wall, spiderwebbed with cracks.

"Oh dear," Patton says, in a tiny, frightened voice, as he backs away. He looks around, not recognizing anything about his surroundings. They're like the upside down land version of the commons he's so familiar with, and that scares him more than anything. He has an inkling where he might be, but he doesn't have a clue about _why_.

"You?" A strange voice asks in surprise. A flickering lightbulb suddenly crackles on, and Patton can see the newcomer. His style is reminiscent of Virgil's, though more ripped, and his hair sticks up every which way. He has a biker jacket on, the sleeves pushed up on his arms.

"Um, hi?" Patton says. "I'm not really sure how I got here."

"I have no idea," the stranger says, eyeing him up and down. "_Morality_... You don't belong here. How'd you get down here in the first place?"

"I was with Thomas," Patton says. "Then I er- well, I was thinking about Remus-" He isn't sure if he should mention Remus's feelings for Logan, but the little he's spilled seems to be enough, because the stranger nods.

"That'd do it," he says. "He still belongs down here, no matter what you guys say, you know. Him _and_ Deceit." 

"Why do you say that?" Patton asks, bristling. The stranger laughs.

"Because you're in the dark side, Morality," the stranger says. "Oh, forgive my manners. I haven't introduced myself, have I? Wrath, at your service." He sketches a slight, mocking bow in the air, and Patton freezes. He vaguely remembers Wrath... But he hasn't been around much since... What, high school?

"Still around, I'm afraid," Wrath says cheerfully, as if he can sense the thrust of Patton's thoughts. "I'm not actually sorry. Thomas needs a good dose of me sometimes." He grins, and Patton can see that his canine teeth resemble fangs.

"I suppose you're right," Patton carefully admits. Wrath almost looks disappointed. "Um, do you know how I can leave? Not that you aren't good company, of course, but the others must be freaking out by now. Especially with the er- Stuff happening lately."

"Depression," Wrath says, and the shadows in the room seem to darken. Patton swallows hard and nods. "I know that shit." He clenches a fist, and darkness oozes out between his fingers. "Anyway. Just take that door over there." He points. "You'll get back. Tell Dee and Remus I said hi. Oh, and the prodigal child, of course. _Virgil._"

"Okay," Patton says, slightly uneasy. "Bye for now!" He sidles over to the door. It reads _Light_ in cracked gilt letters. If there were ever any other letters, they've long since fallen off.

He steps through, into the familiar confines of the living room, and is nearly swept off his feet by a frantic, breathless Virgil, Roman following close behind.

"Where _were_ you?" Virgil demands.

"The dark side," Patton says, and the room gets very quiet and very still. "Wrath says hi."


	5. another together breakfast

_"What?"_ Virgil breathes. He feels very faint all of a sudden, his body going hot and cold all over. Deceit seems to recognize it because all of a sudden, familiar arms are looped around his waist and tugging him to the couch, encouraging him to sit down and stick his head between his knees.

"Better?" Deceit quietly asks, a few minutes later. Taking in another gasping, swooping breath, Virgil nods, shuddering and wrapping his arms around himself.

"I just- I haven't thought about him in so long," Virgil whispers. "I feel terrible."

"He _doesn't_ at all prefer the shadows, you know that," Deceit murmurs. "Remus and I have neglected him, too, you know. Especially since..." He trails off. It's not just the events of the past week or so, Virgil knows that. Since the beginning of Deceit's ennui. Since the hooked claws of depression sunk in.

"Kiddo?" Patton asks, walking over. "Are you all right?"

"What exactly did Wrath say?" Virgil asks. Patton's brow scrunches as he strains to remember.

"He said that Deceit and Remus still belong down there," he says. "And to say hi to them. And he called you the prodigal child? I'm afraid I don't know why."

_I'm not returning,_ Virgil thinks fiercely. _I don't belong down there. I just _don't.

But does Wrath? He's not sure. Deceit squeezes his hand, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"It will be fine," Deceit says soothingly. Virgil hopes it's not a lie.

"Can he come up here?" Patton asks, curious.

"Not necessarily," Deceit answers. "Thomas doesn't know about him. Remus was a special case, because he's related to Roman. And I always worked from the shadows until, well-" He stops. Virgil knows what he's thinking, anyway. Until he impersonated Patton.

"I'm glad that you're here now," Patton says. "Now, why don't we have some breakfast?"

Virgil snaps himself into his regular clothes, followed by everyone except Patton.

"Patton..." Logan says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, just until the end of breakfast?" Patton says hopefully. Logan sighs.

"Fine," he acquiesces.

Virgil wants to help Patton and Logan make breakfast (he's vaguely surprised to see Remus eating jam-slathered toast- not because Logan has deigned to share his Crofters, but because it's not deodorant), but he feels weak and shivery, like he's just run a marathon or spent a week with a high fever.

"It's okay, Virgil," Deceit says, manifesting a fidget cube and handing it to him. It helps, distracting him from the panic-stricken pulses that turn his bones to jelly.

"Yes, do not worry, Dark Knightmare!" Roman booms, striking a grand pose. "Ooh, are those pancakes?"

"They are, and Virgil gets first go," Logan says, passing Virgil the plate.

"Oh, I-" Virgil stammers, flustered, but Patton winks at him, passing him the syrup. "Thank you," he says.

Chocolate chips form a smiley face on all of them, and he finds himself quietly comforted as he tucks in. Deceit gets second pick, although Patton makes him waffles instead, and Virgil can't help but smile when he sees the surprised delight flicker over Deceit's face.

"Bacon!" Remus squeals, stuffing a piece in his mouth.

"Manners!" Roman says, putting his head in his hands. Remus grins, luckily after swallowing the rest of his mouthful.

"Whatever," Remus says. Virgil can tell he just wants to mess with his brother. Roman, on the other hand, doesn't seem privy to this information as he huffs, his shoulders stiff.

"Calm down," Logan says, passing a plate of toast around the table. "It's fine, Roman."

These _are my family,_ Virgil thinks, looking around the table. _If Wrath wants to be a part of that, he has to accept all of _them_, too._

The thought brings him a measure of peace.


	6. patton's special cause

Remus kicks his feet back and forth, relishing the creak of the seat beneath him. Logan bestows a sedate smile on him from his right, making him feel like he's fizzing up. If he could develop heart eyes, he would. Perhaps he can. It wouldn't be that hard. He could just conjure the appropriately-sized hearts and stuff them into his eye sockets. Then-

"Seriously? _Again_?" Roman asks, making a revolted face. Remus flushes. Oops.

"I can't _help_ it," he protests.

"Don't get me wrong, Remus, I'm happy that you're happy, I just wish you kept those...thoughts in your head," Roman says. "Or at least not where I can hear them."

"It can be helpful for people to express their intrusive thoughts, instead of allowing them to fester," Logan puts in. Remus's chest warms. "I'm sure that Remus isn't doing it on purpose."

"I'm not," Remus says helpfully. Roman sighs.

"Oh, I know you're not," he says. "It's just difficult to eat when I'm imagining..._that_." Remus grins.

"Not for me, it's not," he says, and takes another messy bite of jam-slathered toast, relishing Roman's wince.

"What are we going to do about Wrath?" Patton asks. Remus hooks his ankles around the legs of his chair, leaning forward in interest.

"Why do we have to do anything?" Roman questions. Patton's mouth drops open.

"Because!" He says indignantly. "We can't just _leave_ him."

"He's not a lost puppy, Patton," Deceit murmurs. "And he wouldn't appreciate being treated like one. Trust me."

"He's more like a pissed off were-bear," Remus cheerfully contributes. 

"Even more reason to leave him alone!" Roman exclaims.

"Deceit, I understand what you're saying," Patton says. "I don't want to treat him like a lost puppy. But it just doesn't seem _fair_, leaving him down there."

"Thomas has to accept him," Virgil says. "For him to come up here and stay. Is- Do you think Thomas is _ready_?"

"Will he ever be ready?" Patton counters.

"He wasn't ready for me and look!" Remus says brightly. "Now he doesn't even _mind_ thinking about a basket of headless ki-"

"No, no, he definitely minds," Virgil interrupts, hasty. "We all mind, Remus, _please_, we're eating."

"Oh, yeah," Remus says. "Sorry. Anyway, Thomas should totally meet Wrath."

"Well, if you're all set on _that_," Deceit says. "Then we need a plan."


	7. cunning and conniving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no internet but i got determined
> 
> aka hotspots ftw

"A plan?" Patton echoes. Deceit nods smoothly.

"A plan," he agrees. "The approach that we used for Remus won't...work for Wrath. Thomas doesn't need _that_ kind of honesty. However, if Wrath is presented in the right way..." He shrugs delicately.

"How do you think we're going to do _that_?" Roman protests. "The man is the living embodiment of wrath!"

"And?" Deceit asks, unblinking. His snake eye seems to glow burnished gold. "I'm the living embodiment of deceit."

"That's...different..." Roman's voice trails off. His face reddens. "All right, it's not different," he admits. "What's your idea?"

"Wrath isn't a _bad_ thing," Deceit says. "Sometimes it's good. When you're in danger, for instance. Or think about activism. Being angry about injustice can lead you doing something to _fix_ things, or at least add your voice and actions to others doing the same. If we present Wrath in _that_ context, I think Thomas will be more than willing to see Wrath in a more positive light, particularly after the missteps with Remus."

"And you," Remus puts in loyally. Deceit feels his heart warm.

"And Virgil," he adds. "There is only one potential roadblock I can see."

"Wrath," Virgil says. Deceit nods.

"Just because he asked Patton to send his regards doesn't mean that he _wants_ to be up here," Deceit says. "He's always been more of a loner, anyway."

"But he seemed like he misses you," Patton protests. "You and Remus and Virgil."

"He probably does," Deceit acknowledges. "But that doesn't mean he wants to be up _here_. Just that he wants _us_ down _there_. And I, for one, do not want to go back. Not- not anymore." His arms itch, and he has to fight the urge to rub against the still-healing lines that litter them. Virgil bestows an all-too-knowing look on him, making him flush.

"I don't want you to go back either," Patton says warmly. His cheeks feel like they're on fire.

"So does someone need to talk to Wrath?" Logan asks. "Would he be amenable to that?"

"I don't know," Virgil says hesitantly. "He- he never liked surprises before." He plays with his sleeves before pulling out the fidget cube Deceit manifested for him. Deceit has to smile a little at the sight.

"Wrath likes to smash surprises," Remus says, and giggles. "Especially if they're people."

"Remus, you just say that because of the time you popped out of his pillow in your birthday suit and he smited you before he realized what was going on," Deceit says dryly. "And you _deserved_ that, and you know it."

"Still counts!" Remus grins.

"Anyway," Roman says, giving his brother a disbelieving look. "So he doesn't like surprises. Then what?"

"He doesn't like being talked about behind his back, either," a too-familiar voice says, as Wrath's lanky figure materializes, leaning against the door, arms folded across his chest.

"Wrath!" Patton exclaims happily. "It's nice to see you again." Wrath blinks, clearly caught off guard.

"Likewise?" He tries.


	8. wrathful

Patton smiles as warmly as he can at the newcomer, who (try as he might) could not hide his signs of discomfort. Not from Patton, anyway.

"Sit down?" Patton offers, pointing at the empty armchair. Wrath hesitates before stomping over, slinging himself over the edges and glaring out at them through messy bangs.

"Why are you lot talking about me?" Wrath asks, point blank. "You're so loud, I could hear you down there." He jerks a thumb over one leather-clad shoulder.

"We think that it would be in Thomas's best interest to learn of you," Logan says, in his precise, measured way. Remus nods eagerly, sprawled against Logan's side. "Patton also believes it is in _your_ best interest and wonders if you would like to move up here."

Wrath's gaze rakes across them all again, lingering on Virgil, Deceit, and Remus. Patton wonders if he himself is even aware of the action.

"Seriously?" Wrath asks skeptically. "You guys wanna make nice after all these years and I'm just supposed to _believe_ you? You might have fooled them-" He jerks his head toward Deceit, Virgil, and Remus- "but you'll never fool me. Sorry."

"You want to know why I've thrown my lot in with them, Wrath?" Deceit asks. Patton's eyes widen in alarm. Deceit's tone is deadly soft and his eyes are curiously blank. "You will _of course_ be surprised." He pulls his sleeves up, revealing incriminatory bandages swathing his arms. Wrath stills.

"I know that sides cannot die, but nevertheless, they saved my life," Deceit continues, in that whisper-soft tone. He's hissing his s's quite badly, and Patton can see that he's trembling as Virgil helps him roll his sleeves back down. "Even after my room decided to move."

"You- you didn't choose to...?" Wrath trails off. Deceit shakes his head.

"I had no input," he says, his smile twisting. "I believe that Remus had no choice, either, after Thomas learned of him."

"I've been connected to my dearest brother ever since!" Remus chirps. Roman looks like he's not exactly thrilled about the situation, but he does muster up a sickly smile when Wrath's stare turns his direction.

"Okay," Wrath says slowly. "You think- what, that Thomas should have _wrath_ around more often? That's gotta be a bad idea."

"Not necessarily," Logan says. "Deceit pointed out that wrath is useful in many situations. Feeling angry about an injustice, for instance. While wallowing in a particular negative emotion is unhelpful, it would be just as bad, if not worse, to not have that particular emotion at _all_."

"Exactly!" Patton says, enthusiastic.

"And you," Wrath continues, pointing at him. "I don't get you, Morality. You're- you're part of the reason the dark side _exists_. Why would _you_ want me up here?" Patton falters, twisting his hands around.

"I have been...confronted with many of my shortcomings lately," Patton says. "I want to do my best to amend my mistakes. Thinking anyone was 'dark' is one of them. We all do our best to help Thomas, it just happens in different ways. I should have seen that sooner." He sighs.

"Interesting," Wrath says. "All right, sure. Whatever. I'll meet Thomas, if that's what you want. But I doubt it'll go well." His smile warps and doesn't reach his eyes.

"We won't know until it happens," Deceit murmurs. He has an odd look in his mismatched eyes, and Patton wonders why.

"Whatever," Wrath says, standing up. "Get me when you've decided on shit or whatever. I have stuff to do."

And with that, he vanishes.


	9. party planning

"That went better than I expected," Deceit says. Roman stares at him in surprise.

"He looked like he wanted to murder us all, and that was _better_?" Roman asks. 

"That wasn't Wrath looking like murder," Virgil says, before Deceit can say anything. "Trust me."

"He just looked uncomfortable, really," Patton says. Virgil blinks at him. How did _he_ pick up on that? "Not that I'm surprised. All of us against one... It would be awfully unnerving."

"He has agreed, though," Logan says. "That seems promising."

"It is," Deceit says. "I can't help but wonder why he said yes, though. I didn't actually expect it, not straight off."

"You," Remus says suddenly. Deceit twists to look at him. "Your arms. Your- is it gross when I say suicide attempt?"

"No," Deceit says at once. "That could never be gross, Remus." Virgil silently blesses him for that.

"You could- you could see it," Remus says, playing with the lace at his wrists. "That he- he'll give them a chance." He sneaks a glance up at Logan and Virgil can see the adoration in his eyes.

"Well..." Roman trails off. "That's good then."

"And we'll give him a chance!" Patton says brightly, clapping his hands. "Do you think he'd like a party? Like a welcome party?"

"Uh..." Virgil exchanges a doubtful look with Remus. "I mean, it would probably be a better surprise than Remus in his birthday suit..."

"Not for me," Logan mutters, and Virgil's mouth drops open as he watches a blush race across Logan's face. _Did he really just-_

_Nope, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that._

"Well, maybe not a surprise exactly," Patton says. "But still! A welcome party!"

"Sure, why not," Deceit says, with a little shrug. "Just...try not to overdo it?"

"We would never!" Roman booms, thumping his chest and wincing when the last vestiges of his were-bear attack make themselves known.

"You're exactly who I was referring to," Deceit says, deadpan. Virgil snickers, hiding it behind one hand.

"That's probably fair," Roman admits magnanimously. 

"So how should we divvy this up?" Patton asks, pondering. "I think we should do stuff in pairs, maybe!"

"I claim decorations," Deceit says at once. "And Virgil." He gives Virgil an indecipherable look.

"Er, yeah," Virgil stammers, reddening. "Sure. Whatever." He pulls himself into his hoodie.

"Food?" Remus asks hopefully. Patton hesitates.

"Remus, I'm not sure that is the best idea," Logan admits. "You are still learning what you like to eat that's not deodorant."

"True," Remus cheerfully admits.

"How about Roman and I do the food and you and Logan do everything else?" Patton suggests. "Making the invitation to Wrath, for instance. You know more about Wrath than anyone but Deceit and Virgil."

"He doesn't like birthday suits, mark that down," Remus snickers.

"I'll look it over first," Deceit mutters, giving Remus a _look_. Remus grins, his teeth slightly too sharp.

"This will be fun," Remus says.

Virgil hopes that he's telling the truth.


	10. meal plans and glitter

"What food were you planning on making?" Roman asks Patton. They've set up at the kitchen table, so they can get started quickly. In the living room, he can hear the rustle of decorations and Deceit and Logan both trying to make his brother behave. He wishes them luck, as he hears "_Remus, for fuck sake-_" float into the kitchen from the next room.

"Well-" Patton pauses. "You know, I just realized we have no idea what food Wrath likes." Roman blinks.

"So we don't," he acknowledges. "One moment." He gets up, wading into the chaos of the living room, and grabs Deceit, towing him into the kitchen and ignoring Virgil's protest.

"What is it?" Deceit asks, flustered. His hat is full of bat-shaped glitter, and he has a smudge of black paint on one cheek.

"We don't know what Wrath likes to eat," Patton says. "I hoped you did?"

"The- the others, myself included, never ate together much," Deceit murmurs. "But I know he has a sweet tooth. He particularly loves chocolate and caramel."

"Meat preferences? Food allergies?" Patton persists.

"No allergies that I'm aware of," Deceit says. "And I don't think he cares either way when it comes to meat. You could leave it out entirely, and he wouldn't care, but you could put it in, and he'd feel the same way."

"Thank you, Dee," Patton says, beaming. Roman watches Deceit flush.

"Well, that was helpful," Patton says brightly, after Deceit has retreated back to the living room. "What do you think about a chocolate caramel cake? As the centerpiece or whatever."

"Sounds good to me," Roman says. "We could also make chocolate caramel candies- or conjure them, if they take too long to make, I can do those in a flash. Perhaps chocolate chip cookies with caramel in them, as well?"

"Excellent idea!" Patton grins. "I'm hungry now," he adds a moment later, a look of chagrin on his face. Roman laughs.

"It's your own fault, you're the one who chose food," Roman says. "What about savory snacks? Pretzels, of course. Popcorn?"

"Yes," Patton says, making a note of it on the notepad in front of him. "And caramel popcorn, too. Maybe different kinds of sandwiches?" Roman nods.

"Sounds good," he says. "I wouldn't make it _too_ fancy. He- he doesn't seem like he would like too fancy."

"I think you're right," Patton says. "I just- I really want this to go well! I've made so many mistakes with the others- I want to rectify that, and I want to make sure they know that they're welcome. And that includes Wrath."

"Hey, don't play the blame game, Pat," Roman cautions. "None of us behaved, well, the greatest. I'm the one who called them the Dark Sides, even!" He makes a face. "I was wrong."

"It's all right," Patton says, putting a comforting hand on his arm. "Now, shall we get started? I think the cake is probably what we should start on first. I want to make it a couple of layers tall. Do you think making it into the shape of a castle would be too much?"

Roman laughs aloud, delighted.

"A castle is _never_ too much," he assures Patton. "It will be fantastic and I will be sure to guide you on the construction of a proper castle."

"Thank you, Ro-" Patton starts to say, before they hear an almighty crash from the living room.

And a short, cut-off scream.


	11. we all float down here

It starts with Remus.

Because an excited Remus, Deceit knows, is a _dangerous_ Remus. He doesn't mean to be. But Chaos is already his middle name, and it just squares itself when it comes to something he's really happy about doing.

Combine that with him being paired with _Logan_ and Deceit almost wants to tie him up and stuff him in a corner while he and Virgil decorate. Of course he'd probably still find a way to wreak havoc even then.

"Come on!" Remus says, pouting. "I say a cannon is the _perfect_ way to welcome him!"

"Remus, we want him to feel welcome, not attacked," Deceit points out. "A cannon is not welcoming."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Deceit," Logan says gently. Deceit tries not to grind his teeth when Remus listens to Logan, not him. As long as he listens to _someone_. And Logan actually has a functioning brain cell.

"What if we decorated with all black?" Virgil suggests. Deceit levels a blank stare at him.

"Virge, then it will look like a funeral, not a party," Deceit says. "We aren't decorating for Halloween."

"But we know he _likes_ Halloween," Virgil argues. "So why not?"

"I agree with Virge!" Remus cackles, dumping black bat-shaped glitter over Deceit in a shimmering cloud. Deceit almost welcomes the intrusion when Roman yanks him into the kitchen, even if he doesn't know much more than Roman and Patton. He hopes Roman doesn't decide to get too extra with it. Wrath doesn't like ostentatious things very much. He knows _that_ much at least.

"Remus, how do you like this font?" Logan asks, pointing at one of the calligraphy-styled examples on his tablet. Remus squints at it.

"Perfect," he says, with the sappiest smile Deceit has ever seen.

"What about purple and black, Virge?" Deceit suggests, turning back to Virgil. "Actually, what if we just used the rainbow? It would be more of a representation of all of us, after all."

"Okay," Virgil says, nodding. "Like streamers and stuff?"

"Yes," Deceit says. "And balloons."

"Attached to killer clowns," Remus says, bouncing over to them. For a moment, his image flickers, becoming Pennywise. Virgil jumps in alarm, stepping back and upsetting the coffee table with an enormous crash, tearing free a short, choked-off scream as he falls. Deceit lunges forward, just managing to soften Virgil's fall and prevent him from slamming his head against a corner of the table.

"What happened?" Patton exclaims as he and Roman dash in from the kitchen. Now looking wholly himself, Remus flushes bright red, shame and guilt warring each other for dominance on his face.

"It was my fault," Remus admits. "I shapeshifted into Pennywise for a second and it really freaked Virgil out. I- I didn't think it would-" He falters, and Deceit can see tears sparkle in the corners of his eyes.

"I didn't think so, either," Virgil mutters from the floor. He looks dazed. "It's okay, Remus. I guess I'm still jumpy."

"I'm really sorry, Virgil," Remus says. "I should have thought."

"Are you all right, Virgil?" Logan asks, peering into Virgil's eyes. "Deceit, would you get him on the couch, please?" Deceit lifts him as gently as he can, depositing him on the sofa with all the care he would afford a baby bird.

"Are you in pain?" Logan questions.

"A little," Virgil admits. "My head and my back."

"Well, you did fall," Logan says. "Perhaps it would be for the best if you rested here for a little while. Remus and I can help Deceit finish the decorations, if need be."

"Thanks, Logan," Virgil says. "That- that would be nice."

"Logan?" Deceit says quietly. "You might want to go retrieve your boyfriend." 

Logan looks around in alarm, but Remus is nowhere to be found.

"I'd check your room," Deceit murmurs. Logan nods in understanding and sinks out.

"Why don't we all get back to work?" Deceit suggests. Roman and Patton look doubtful for a second, but finally agree to return to the kitchen.

"Are you sure?" Virgil asks. "I can try to-"

"It's just streamers at the moment, Virge," Deceit says, a fond smile twitching his lips. "I think I'll manage."


	12. face to face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's short but it's gay

Logan finds Remus sitting tucked next to his desk, his arms wrapped around his knees and his head resting on them. He looks up when Logan enters, and Logan can see tear tracks smudging Remus's makeup.

"Sorry, I can go-" Remus starts to say, but Logan shakes his head.

"Please don't go," he says softly. He lowers himself to the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of Remus. His back bumps against the bed. "What's wrong, Remus?"

"You have to ask?" Remus says, his voice choked in bitterness. "I hurt Virgil. It's my fault he fell over the coffee table. What if he'd paralyzed himself? What if the coffee table's edge was too sharp and it decapitated him? What if-"

"Remus, do you remember when you threw a shuriken at my face?" Logan asks. Remus winces at the memory. "It didn't hurt me. Even the were-bear attack didn't incapacitate your brother for _that_ long."

"Yes, but-"

"Your thoughts are spiraling," Logan says gently. "Just like Thomas's did. Breathe, Remus." He reaches out a tentative hand. Remus latches onto it, his own fingers shaking.

"In for four seconds," Logan directs, doing so himself. He watches Remus's shoulders shake. "Hold for seven seconds," he continues, leaning over and brushing the grey streak out of Remus's eyes. Remus's startled gaze flies up to his, pink dusting his cheeks. "And out for eight seconds. Keep it up, Remus, you're doing so well." He continues to alternately demonstrate the technique and heap praise on his new boyfriend until Remus has unknotted and his breathing has slowed.

"Is that better?" Logan asks. Flushing, Remus nods.

"Th-thanks," he says. He looks around. "It's- it's so much easier to _think_ in here. Is that why you spend so much time here?"

"I-" Logan pauses, the words sticking in his throat. "Sometimes," he says. Remus's eyes are soft on him, and maybe that's what gives him the courage to say more. "But sometimes I just don't feel part of the fam-ILY, I suppose."

"_You?_" Remus squeaks in his surprise. "But you- You're _part_ of them, you-" Logan smiles briefly.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you," he says. "They try. Virgil understands more than Roman or Patton. But logic... Sometimes it feels like logic isn't welcome at the table. So I stay here." He gestures at his room. "Where I know it is."

"But Logan," Remus scoots closer, grabbing his hands and jostling for space. "Even if- even if that's true- and I don't think it is- even if logic isn't welcome, I _know_ that _Logan_ is."

"I-" Logan blinks, his eyes stinging. "You're not supposed to be the one cheering me up, I came in here to help you," he settles on, and Remus laughs.

"You have helped," Remus says. "Thank you. I- I still feel bad-" He looks toward the door. "But Virgil's okay. I really didn't think it would bother him. I know he's Anxiety and all, but I'd do it all the time, well, before. Shapeshift into different horror movie monsters and see if he could guess who I was."

"Maybe you will be able to do that again in the future," Logan says. "Just ask him."

"Okay," Remus says.

"Shall we go back to the party preparations?" Logan asks. Remus nods, bouncing to his feet and pulling Logan with him. Pressed up against Remus's shirt, he can smell sugar and Remus's sweat. It's not unpleasant.

"Let's go!" Remus crows happily, and they walk back to the living room, hand in hand.


	13. castle construction

Patton doesn't know where it went wrong.

All he knows is Roman's cry of alarm and the fact that Roman's grandiloquent vision of a fluffy chocolate-caramel-cake castle is...

Well, lopsided.

"What did you _do_?" Roman exclaims in anguish.

"I didn't do anything!" Patton replies, baffled. "It just...did that. Did you put in enough support?"

"Of course I did!" Roman says, but his eyes shift away and Patton doesn't even need Deceit's appearance in the kitchen a moment later to confirm what he already knows.

"He didn't," Deceit says, flicking his tongue out, then popping back out to the living room. At least the decorations seem to be going well. Virgil feels better, so he's been helping again, and the living room is festooned with a rainbow smorgasbord of streamers, accompanied by black balloons.

"All right, so perhaps I miscalculated," Roman admits, his face going bright red. "But now what are we going to do? We can't have a _lopsided_ castle, it will ruin everything!"

"It will just be an old castle, that's all," Patton says. "A little worn down, maybe, but still good."

"Well..." Roman stares doubtfully at their creation.

"Come on, Roman," Patton encourages. "We can decorate it to look like an old castle, with trailing ivy and everything. It will look amazing."

"Of course it will!" Roman blusters. "I helped create it! But you're right, it will look _fantastic_ with the right decorations..." And he's off, babbling at high speed about improvements they can make to the design and how to make certain bits look even more run down for the effect. Patton breathes a silent sigh of relief.

"Logan!" He exclaims, catching sight of Logan and Remus wandering down from Logan's room. They're holding hands, and Patton squees internally, careful not to make a sound out loud in case it embarrasses them.

"Patton!" Remus shouts, exuberant. "I uno reverse carded him!"

"Logan?" Patton asks, turning questioning eyes to Logan. Logan flushes.

"Later," he says. "After the party."

"Okay," Patton says. "But don't think I'll forget!"

"I would never," Logan says, deadpan. Patton smiles, turning back to the castle. Roman has slathered the whole thing in light grey frosting and is working on outlining craggy rocks.

"Wow, Roman," Patton says in admiration. "It looks wonderful!" Roman strikes a dramatic pose and grins.

"Why thank you, Pat," he says. "It is a joy to vanquish!"

"Let's keep going then," Patton says. "Could you conjure up those candies you mentioned?"

"Of course!" Roman says, making a sweeping gesture with one arm. Candies patter from the ceiling everywhere around them- thankfully wrapped. Patton looks up into Roman's sheepish face, just as the others come into the kitchen, wondering what just happened.

"Oops," Roman says, his face reddening.

"Patton, Remus and I are done with the invitation, can we help with the food?" Logan asks. "I believe that Remus would find baking enjoyable."

"If you're supervising, I suppose I don't see why not," Patton says. Remus grins, snagging one of the candies from the table and unwrapping it, popping it into his mouth.

"Thanks, Pat!" Remus sing-songs through his mouthful.

It makes Patton smile. Perhaps this party is coming together after all.


	14. wrath's welcome wagon party

Remus is the one who delivers the invitation. Deceit inspects it before he lets Remus leave, but he's left assured that _probably_ Wrath will enjoy it. The touch of professionalism comes from Logan, while the wild black streak of glitter is definitely Remus's handiwork. It invites Wrath to a welcome party, time effective now. Deceit's a little concerned about that bit, but the others are so _enthusiastic_, and he has to admit he can't blame them. Besides, no matter how much he will likely bluster and bluff, Wrath almost never has anything important going on.

And sure enough, within ten minutes of Remus dropping off the invitation, Wrath flings open the door. He stops in the doorway, his mouth open in undisguised shock, as he views the living room and its hopeful occupants.

"Hi, Wrath!" Patton chirps. It is Patton's warm, welcoming voice that draws Wrath in, like a curious moth to the flame. As soon as he steps free of the door, Deceit surreptitiously closes it. He doesn't want to close off a potential escape route, but he also doesn't trust anyone or anything else on the other side not to try and sneak through. And Wrath is more than enough, especially for Thomas. His entire reason for being is, after all, self-preservation.

"What the hell is all this?" Wrath asks, looking around. 

"A party!" Patton says. "It's for you! Like a welcome home party, but really, just a welcome party, you don't have to see it as home, I know you probably see over there as your home, and that's totally okay, and-"

"Pat, you're rambling," Roman cuts him off kindly. Patton's face flushes.

"Right, sorry," he says, taking a deep breath.

"It's uh, cool," Wrath says. "And over there ain't a home for anyone, I guess. Not anymore." Something cold and sour squirms in the bottom of Deceit's stomach when he says that. He can guess why, and it hurts.

"There is always a place for you here," Logan says. Remus has locked fingers with him again, and keeps swinging their arms back and forth. Wrath takes a hesitant step forward, his shoulders hunched.

"So uh, what's this party supposed to be about, anyway?" He mumbles.

"We made a cake!" Roman announces proudly. "Deceit said that you liked chocolate and caramel, so it is a chocolate caramel cake! I- I hope that it is to your liking?"

Wrath gives Deceit a surprised look. Deceit gives him a crooked little half-smile in return.

The cake is magnificent. It sprawls over the middle of the table, glittering in the light. Roman and Patton have turned it into a castle half-taken by the wilderness around it, and even Deceit has to admit that it looks _amazing_.

"Huh," Wrath says, looking at it. "That uh. That looks nice."

_Please don't say anything stupid, Roman,_ Deceit mentally begs. _This is _nice_ for him, he's obviously out of his element, he's doing his best here..._

Roman opens his mouth, then closes it with a click of his teeth. He plasters a smile on his face.

"Come on, sit down," Patton encourages, flurrying around him to pull out a chair. "We'd really like to get to know you!"

_You mean, you would,_ Deceit thinks, amused. He isn't sure what to make of Morality's actions. Is he just curious to learn more about a new-to-him side, or is there something more?

Wrath sits down with a thump, his eyes skittering across the table.

"Is this really gonna work out?" He asks abruptly. "I mean, come on, I'm _Wrath_. I'm not like- like you guys." He flaps a hand at Patton and Roman.

"They accepted me," Remus says, his voice surprisingly quiet. "I'm worse than you. Don't argue or you'll get to see my special suit again."

"Remus!" Logan scolds, although the red suffusing his face speaks volumes.

"Okay, fine, you won't," Remus says. Wrath regards Logan with new admiration.

"You can get him to shut up?" Wrath asks. "Damn. All right. I guess I'll... Try. For this party. Whatever."

Deceit and Patton share a grin of triumph.


	15. a different point of view

"Here!" Remus appears out of nowhere. Wrath nearly punches him. At least this time, he's fully clothed, although he seems to be covered in glitter. Which means that Wrath's room is now _also_ covered in glitter. Great.

"What is that?" Wrath asks, poking at the envelope Remus has dropped in his lap.

"An invitation!" Remus declares. "From everyone." He points over his shoulder. "Open it!" Gingerly, Wrath peels the envelope flap up, releasing an invitation printed on what looks like professional cardstock. The effect is slightly marred by a large swathe of black glitter. Little bats seem to be involved.

_You are cordially invited to attend one: Party. Time: effective Now._

_Sincerely, Logan (and everyone else)_

Well, that was short and sweet and to the point. And utterly baffling, Wrath decides, staring down at the card. They're inviting him to a _party_? _Him_? Are they mental? Sure, they were going to discuss things, but that doesn't mean a...party.

"You're coming, right?" Remus asks, breaking into his reverie.

"Uh, sure," Wrath says. With a pop, Remus disappears, leaving Wrath to contemplate his life choices. He wonders if they would care (or even notice) if he just...didn't show up.

But in the end, breaking his word doesn't appeal, and it's with clammy palms and a queasy stomach that he ascends the stairs. He flings open the door in a show of bravado that he certainly doesn't feel and-

Stops dead. He can feel his mouth fall open, but he can't bring himself to care. Rainbow streamers have been hung with care, accentuated with strings of multi-colored fairy lights. Black balloons hang in small bunches around the room, breaking up the assault of color. The others are all arranged around the living room, with varying levels of surprise and hope on their faces. He doesn't understand it. They actually- _want_ him here?

"Hi, Wrath!" Patton says warmly. Before he understands what he's doing, he's wandered fully into the living room, following Patton's voice like a duckling with its mother duck. He doesn't even mind when Deceit flicks the door behind him. It's probably wise not to make it any easier for anyone else. He steers clear of the rest, and he prefers it that way. The only sides he didn't mind their company left him, although he feels a little better to know that Deceit and Remus didn't leave him on _purpose_. Thomas's head decided to clean house.

"What the hell is all this?" Wrath manages to ask, dragging his thoughts back to the present.

"A party!" Patton chirps. "It's for you!" _For me?_ "Like a welcome home party, but really, just a welcome party, you don't have to see it as home, I know you probably see over there as your home, and that's totally okay, and-"

"Pat, you're rambling," Roman says, cutting Morality off. Wrath internally bristles, then wonders why. Patton's cheeks redden.

"Right, sorry," he says, taking a deep breath. He looks even more nervous than Wrath feels.

"It's uh, cool," Wrath says, not knowing what else _to_ say. "And over there ain't a home for anyone, I guess. Not anymore." He deliberately doesn't look in the direction of Deceit, Remus, or Virgil, keeping his eyes trained on Patton, although he can still see Virgil's flinch from the corner of his eye.

"There is always a place for you here," Logan says. Remus keeps swinging his arm back and forth. Wrath wonders if Logan actually enjoys it or if he's just putting up with it. He takes a hesitant step forward, hunching his shoulders with the force of his nerves.

"So uh, what's this party supposed to be about, anyway?" He asks, instantly cursing himself for how _stupid_ it sounds.

"We made a cake!" Roman announces, his voice ringing proudly through the room. "Deceit said that you liked chocolate and caramel, so it is a chocolate caramel cake! I- I hope that it is to your liking?" Wrath's eyes fly to Deceit's in surprise. He remembered? The crooked half-smile on Deceit's face says that yes, yes, he did.

The cake is enormous. When Roman said cake, he apparently meant enough food to feed them all for a week, Wrath discovers as soon as he enters the kitchen. It glitters in the light, a sprawling edifice slowly being overtaken by edible greenery.

"Huh," Wrath says, again lost for words. "That uh. That looks nice." He internally cringes, knowing how it sounds. Patton smiles at him, and he brightens a little.

Roman opens his mouth, obviously intending to express how insulted he must feel, then shuts it, plastering a smile across his face.

"Come on, sit down," Patton encourages, yanking out a chair for him. "We'd really like to get to know you!" 

_I'd like to get to know you, too,_ Wrath thinks slowly, as he sits down, his eyes darting around the table.

"Is this really gonna work out?" He demands. "I mean, come on. I'm _Wrath_. I'm not like- like you guys." He flaps one hand at the closest two sides, Patton and Roman. _I'm not like you, Morality._

"They accepted _me_," Remus points out. "I'm worse than you. Don't argue or you'll get to see my special suit again." _Holy hell, no-_

"Remus!" Logan scolds, his face crimson.

"Okay, fine, you won't," Remus says. Wrath straightens, regarding Logan with interest and frank admiration. Not even _Deceit_ can make Remus behave so quickly.

"You can get him to shut up?" Wrath asks. "Damn. All right. I guess I'll... Try. For this party. Whatever."

As he settles back in his chair and Roman cuts him a generous slice of chocolate caramel cake, he hopes he isn't making a huge mistake.

It's all well and good for the other sides to accept him. But the question remains.

Will _Thomas_?


	16. what the heart wants

Patton's stomach flip flops as he passes Wrath a cup of fruit punch, hoping his hands aren't shaking too badly. He doesn't understand all the new feelings swirling around inside his head. He's barely _met_ the side. He knows _nothing_ about him.

_You know he helped you out when he didn't have to,_ Patton's brain helpfully reminds him. _He could have left you to figure out how to get back yourself._

Well...that's true. And yeah, sure, someone would have probably found him before _too_ terribly long, but that didn't mean nothing else would happen. Patton knows himself. He's not exactly the best at dodging. Or fighting. Or...well, any of that. Not when it comes to himself, anyway. If someone harmed a hair on Virgil's head, he thinks he would turn into the puppy-loving version of the Hulk.

_He also came to the party,_ Patton's brain continues. _He didn't have to do that, either._ Truthfully, Patton's as shocked as anyone that Wrath actually showed up. He didn't expect it at all. But he _did_ show up and now he's here, making awkward conversation and digging into chocolate caramel castle cake, and he has a bit of icing on the corner of his mouth that Patton wants to help him remove, and his eyes are a surprisingly clear shade of blue, although one occasionally flickers red, like lightning is striating the pupil. His hair sticks up every which way, and is a rich brown that reminds Patton of the candies that Roman conjured earlier.

_He also has a nice-_

Patton cuts that thought off before it can even fully form. What's wrong with him today?! 

"Pat?" Roman asks, stirring him from his daze. "You all right?"

"What?" Patton asks blankly, flushing bright red when he looks around and realizes everyone is staring at him. "Sorry, I got lost in thought for a second there!" Wrath gives him a dubious look, then returns to his cake.

"Do you like the cake?" Roman asks, all but vibrating in his seat with his eagerness. Patton can't blame him. It's always nice to see your efforts appreciated after all.

"Yeah, it's good," Wrath says, after a momentary pause. "Who uh, who baked it?"

"I did," Patton says, feeling unaccountably shy. "Roman helped, though. Especially with the decoration!"

"_After_ he messed it up," Deceit murmurs. Remus snickers. Roman reddens, glaring in his brother's direction.

"It's still good," Wrath says, looking in Patton's direction. "Thanks for making it chocolate caramel. Dee's right, it uh, it is my favorite."

"I'm glad," Patton beams, trying to ignore the flutter in his stomach. "So Wrath, um..." He swallows. "I'd like to get to know you better! Um-" He wracks his brain for what to say, coming up blank.

"I don't give my name out to just anyone, but Wrath is fine by me," Wrath says, saving him. "I haven't been super strong since high school." He shrugs. "I like chocolate caramel and pizza. Like a _lot_." He pulls up his jacket sleeve, revealing a tiny pizza slice tattooed on his wrist. "It's good shit."

"Oh, I wish I'd made some!" Patton cries. "What toppings do you like?"

"Just about anything but anchovies," Wrath says. "And it's all good. You uh, didn't know, so. I like the same kind of music and shit that Virgil does, just harder." He shrugs again. "I dunno what you want to know."

_Everything,_ Patton thinks and barely manages to stop himself saying. Instead, Remus says it for him.

"Everything!" Remus says, and cackles.

Patton wants to sink through his chair.


	17. surprise, thomas!

"How about we save 'everything' for a later date?" Deceit suggests, glancing at Patton and Wrath. Patton's face is so red, he looks like a tomato. Wrath isn't much better. Remus, on the other hand, looks _entirely_ too pleased with himself.

"Yeah," Wrath gruffly agrees. Even his ears are red, something Deceit finds fascinating. He didn't know Wrath could blush at _all_, never mind this much.

"Should we adjourn to Thomas's living room?" Logan questions. "So he can meet Wrath in the real world, instead of coming here again? It can't be healthy for him to spend this much time in the mindscape, after all."

"Is that a good idea?" Wrath asks, tracing the tines of his fork through the remnants of chocolate icing left on his plate. "I mean, uh... Everyone popping up sounds like a bad idea."

"No, he's used to it," Virgil says glumly. "Not _everyone_ exactly, but most of us. That's how he does the videos, after all."

"Oh," Wrath says. "I uh, I don't know much about those. I don't think I want to be in one."

"He would never force you to be in a video if you didn't want to be," Patton assures him. A tiny smile flickers to life on Wrath's face. Deceit watches with interest.

"No time like the present then," Logan says, standing up. Remus does with him, clinging to his side like one of the octopuses he loves so much.

"Even better for the party, then," Patton says. When Logan looks confused, he elaborates. "After all, the present is a _gift_!"

Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, while Patton giggles. Wrath snorts in laughter, then stops himself.

"So do we just appear or what?" Wrath asks. 

"It depends on what Thomas is doing," Roman explains. He concentrates for a moment. "Which is watching re-runs on the couch. Apparently."

"And none of his friends are over?" Logan clarifies. Roman shakes his head. "Very well then."

"Wrath should hide behind someone," Deceit suggests. "So Thomas doesn't see him straight away."

"I'm tall enough, I think," Virgil volunteers. He immediately looks like he regrets it. Too late now, everyone has joined in with a chorus of agreement, Deceit included. Virgil's cheeks flush.

"Let's go!" Remus cheers. "On an adventure!"

"I don't trust your adventures after the were-bear," Roman mutters. Remus goes pink.

"Sorry about that," he says. Wrath looks dubiously between the twins.

"I don't even want to know," he says.

"We've had a busy few days," Deceit explains. "We'll have to tell you later."

"Okay," Wrath says. "So uh..."

"Up we go!" Roman says, flourishing one arm like he's starting out on an epic quest. Deceit internally rolls his eyes.

Deceit pops up next to Virgil, all too aware of Wrath skulking behind him. He can virtually feel the other side's anxiety like a physical blow. Virgil must be feeling it worse, yet he doesn't even stumble.

"Whoa," Thomas says, staring at them all with wide eyes. "What um, what's the occasion, guys? Is something wrong?"

"Of course not," Patton says.

"Something has come to our attention," Logan says carefully. "And we all thought it would be best that you learn about it now."

"What's up?" Thomas asks, shutting off the TV and leaning forward.

"Do you know that feeling when you see some social injustice and get that burning desire to do something about it?" Patton asks. Thomas thinks for a moment, then nods.

"Well, another side is responsible," Roman says bluntly.

"Roman!" Patton scolds. "We weren't going to tell him like _that_."

"Well, you didn't exactly give everyone a script, how was I supposed to know?" Roman say. Patton huffs a breath, clearly ready to keep arguing, when Thomas clears his throat.

"Uh, guys? Can we get back to 'another side?' Someone new? What side?"

"Me," Wrath says, and steps forward. Thomas's mouth falls open.

"Who are you?" He asks. "If- if it's okay to ask."

"Wrath," he says. "I'm Wrath. It's uh...a pleasure?"


	18. show and tell

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too," Thomas says. He looks shocked. Logan supposes that isn't a surprise. After all, it isn't every day you discover you have another side that you didn't know about. "So uh, you..."

"Embody wrath, yeah," Wrath says. "Anger. All that. When you get super pissed off for no reason. Uh, or the social injustice thing." He nods at Patton, whose face is red. Logan wonders why. 

"Huh," Thomas says, scratching the side of his nose. "Okay. So uh, why has no one..."

"He's one of the others," Roman says. Virgil and Deceit both stare at him in surprise. "What?" Roman asks, noticing their looks. "I- 'Dark Side' isn't really...appropriate. I'm sorry I ever came up with it."

"Thank you, Roman," Deceit says softly. Virgil nods in agreement. Remus doesn't look like he's paying attention, but Logan knows he is. If nothing else, the tightening of his fingers on Logan's arm is a dead giveaway.

"I live on the dark side," Wrath says, his voice contemplative. "It's very cold over there. And...lonely, I guess, now that you guys are over here." He glances at Deceit, Virgil, and Remus in turn.

"I'm sorry, Wrath," Deceit murmurs. "Like I said before- I had no choice in my room moving. But I..." He hesitates. "I'm not sorry that it did. I thought I would be. I wanted it to move back. But-"

"I'm glad that you moved over," Virgil speaks up, his arms wrapped around himself. "I missed you." Deceit smiles crookedly, yet Logan can tell that it is genuine.

"I missed you, too," Deceit says.

"Now kiss!" Remus blurts out. Both Virgil and Deceit redden to an astonishing degree, leaping apart as if they've been scalded.

"Remus, that wasn't the most appropriate thing to say, perhaps," Logan says mildly.

"Oops," Remus says. "I'm not wrong, though."

"Remus, I swear to-" Deceit says through gritted teeth, then heaves a sigh, sweeping his hat off and running a hand through his hair in frustration, before he settles his hat back on his head. Thomas stares at him in fascination.

"_What?_" Deceit nearly growls.

"Sorry," Thomas says. "I just- It's weird to see you without your hat on. I'm so used to it on."

"Oh," Deceit says, deflating. "I suppose it would be."

"Can Wrath move?" Thomas asks. "Or- do you have control of it?"

"Not exactly," Virgil speaks up. "When I left, I- well, I was in limbo for a while, kind of. Like I wasn't fully on the Light Side, but I wasn't with the others anymore, either."

"And there's that, too," Thomas says. "The others. Plural. Are there- are there any other sides I don't know about?"

"Yes," Deceit says bluntly. "But trust me, Thomas, we are not hiding others just to hide them. You are not yet ready."

"But why not?" Thomas asks, his chin unconsciously jutting out.

"Do you remember the way you- well, we all- reacted to Deceit revealing himself?" Logan asks, provoking a wince from nearly everyone present. "It was unhelpful. Or look at how most of you reacted to Remus."

"Except you, Lo Lo!" Remus shrills in his ear. A faint smile crosses Logan's face.

"Contrast that to how Wrath's introduction has gone so far," Logan continues. "You're ready to learn about Wrath. You aren't quite ready to learn about anyone else. Give it time, Thomas."

"Okay," Thomas finally reluctantly agrees. Logan exchanges a quiet look with Deceit.

Thomas's curiosity could be a problem in the future. Logan hopes that it won't be.

"Hey, Wrath, have you ever seen _Steven Universe_?" Thomas asks. Wrath shakes his head. "Want to start?"

"Uh, sure," Wrath says. Thomas beckons him to the couch. Patton promptly follows.

"Come with me, Lo Lo," Remus coaxes. "I wanna spend more time in your room."

"That would be an acceptable use of our time," Logan agrees, and sinks out, hand in hand with Remus.


	19. it's not illogical to like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's short but also it's incredibly gay so

"Here we are," Logan says, as they rise up in his room. Remus looks around at the familiar, soothing lines, his anxiety bubbling like a boiling pot, ready to overflow. They're _alone_, they could do _anything_, he could get _naked_, he could-

_Strip all your flesh off your bones with a paring knife-_

_Stop it!_ He snaps at his thoughts. They quiet down, restlessly soothed by the logic ever-present in Logan's room and he settles on the end of Logan's bed, kicking off his shoes and drawing his knees up to his chest.

"Would you like to read?" Logan asks, short-circuiting his thoughts. Remus nods hesitantly. Logan proffers another book on octopuses. This one has an enormous cephalopod emblazoned across the front, splashed in somber blue and green and purple. Remus cradles it to his chest, eyes shining, like he's been handed something precious.

"You like me," he says, his voice tinged with wonder. "You really _like_ me."

"Of course I do," Logan says, settling next to him on the bed. Their knees bump and Remus fancies the spot where Logan's knee touched him burns.

"I just-" Remus gestures helplessly with the book. "You let me have your books and stay in your room and hug you and touch you and talk to you and-" He takes a deep breath, surprised to realize his eyes are damp.

"You are very important to me," Logan says firmly, setting his own book aside and turning to face him. "Of course you're allowed to stay in my room and borrow my books. Even if we weren't- weren't boyfriends, I would allow that. We are friends, too. But I also don't mind you hugging and touching and talking to me. I like those things. I like _you_." Red spreads across Logan's face like a sunset, or blood dribbling across a window.

"You never tell me to shut up," Remus blurts out. "Thank you."

"I promise you," Logan says, oddly intense. "I promise you, Remus, that I will never, _ever_ tell you to shut up." He's leaned forward in his fervor, and their lips are so close, they're nearly touching. Remus asks with his eyes and Logan presses closer, their lips brushing. Remus quickly sets aside the octopus book, setting it on top of Logan's. Heat sparks up like a brushfire in the wake of Logan's mouth against his and Remus makes a soft, helpless noise in his throat, as Logan's arms go round his back, one holding his shoulders and the other cradling his head. His fingers thread through Remus's hair, tugging at it and creating tiny, exquisite darts of pain in Remus's scalp. Remus clutches at Logan's shoulders, devouring his mouth with every bit of eagerness he's ever shown, hot and breathless and wanton.

When they break apart, it's slowly, reluctantly, Remus panting for breath and Logan disheveled. His glasses are crooked and his pupils are blown. 

"Wow," Remus breathes.

"That- that was quite enjoyable," Logan agrees. Remus flushes.

"We could- we could kiss some more?" He suggests. "If you- if you want." He starts to babble apologies, but Logan stops him with a delicate finger to his mouth. Remus regards him with wide, glittering eyes.

"Of course I want," Logan says clearly. "You don't have to apologize."

He leans in, and captures Remus's mouth with his own once more.


	20. the noodle goes blep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, it's more gay

Virgil backs away, once Thomas and Wrath are suitably occupied. Roman follows Patton to the couch after Patton sends him a pleading look, and Virgil feels free to return to the mindscape with a sigh. 

"Is something wrong?" Deceit murmurs, appearing next to him. Virgil jumps like he's been scalded, letting out a noise like a terrified cat. Deceit reddens. "Apologies."

"No, it's fine," Virgil squeaks out. His heart feels like it's been smashed in two by a runaway train, it's thumping so hard against his breastbone. "I'm just. Jumpy."

"I apologize if it is because of me," Deceit says. "Or Remus's insinuations..."

"Well, that's kind of just it," Virgil blurts out. _What are you doing, oh my god, you're gonna mess it all up, do you really think he'd ever feel that way about you, you're not like Remus and Logan, you're a mess, you're a _disorder_-_

"What's just it?" Deceit asks, very softly. Flustered, Virgil lets out a tiny noise of distress. "Virgil?" Deceit questions, very softly. "Do you need me to leave?"

"No!" Virgil blurts out, desperately hoping to erase the tiny spark of hurt in Deceit's eyes. "No, don't leave, I- I just meant-" He stops, swallowing. His hands won't stop trembling. "Oh, never mind, it's nothing," he mumbles, painfully red.

"Virge," Deceit says. "Please tell me."

"Remus wasn't- wasn't wrong," Virgil stammers. "On m-my end, that is, I know that we aren't- aren't like th-that, it's f-fine, I-"

"Virgil, unless you tell me not to, I'm going to kiss you right now," Deceit interrupts. His eyes take up Virgil's whole world, all but glowing in their intensity. "Is that all right?" Weakly, Virgil nods and Deceit slots his mouth over his. His lips are slightly cool and soft and _oh my god they're kissing, and it's the best thing Virgil's ever experienced_, as Deceit's pointy teeth nip slightly at his bottom lip and the tip of his forked tongue flickers at the seam of Virgil's mouth.

"Wow," Virgil says breathlessly as Deceit lifts his head. He looks just as dazed as Virgil feels.

"Remus is right sometimes," Deceit says, his voice hoarse. Virgil nods in blurry agreement.

"I like you," Virgil blurts out, before his anxiety can overcome his voice. "Is that- is that okay?" Deceit smiles, slow and sweet.

"Of course it is," he says. "In fact, it's more than okay, because as it happens, it seems that I like you, too."

"We don't have to be as obvious as Remus and Logan, do we?" Virgil asks, just as Remus's shout of happiness echoes downstairs. Deceit laughs.

"No," he assures him. "We don't. Although I think it's good for Logan. For them both. Remus needs someone like Logan, I think."

"And Logan could use someone like Remus," Virgil says, thoughtful. 

"Shall we adjourn to the couch?" Deceit suggests. Virgil feels oddly shy as he follows, twisting his fingers around. He sits down with a plop, all too aware of Deceit's warmth right next to him.

"This is nice," Virgil says. "Just- just the two of us." He means it. It has been nice, spending time with everyone else, but Virgil doesn't _like_ spending time with too many people all the time. Especially not when his hand is forced by the dregs of depression.

"Agreed," Deceit says, tossing his hat on the couch cushion next to him and running one hand through his hair. Virgil follows the movement of his fingers almost enviously. Deceit knows and one side of his mouth crooks into a smile.

"You can touch my hair if you want," he says. Caught, Virgil blushes brilliant scarlet, but it doesn't stop him from sinking his fingers into Deceit's unruly hair, enjoying the softness beneath his fingertips. Deceit makes little happy noises, the tip of his tongue sticking out in a clear blep.

"I missed this," Virgil says softly. 

"Then I am happy that we can do it once more," Deceit says. Virgil laughs.

"You just say that because it means you get head scritches," Virgil says. Deceit grins smugly.

"And?" He says.


	21. heart gushers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some more incredibly gay shit

Patton ends up sitting between Wrath and Roman, the latter of whom is casually sprawled out across the sofa. He is all too aware of Wrath's presence on his other side, and the brush of the side's jacket against his arm. It is enough to bring heat to his cheeks, though he tries to pretend otherwise.

"So it might start off kind of slow and silly," Thomas explains, as he puts Steven Universe on. "But it gets so, so much better. You'll see."

"Uh, okay," Wrath says, fidgeting with his hair. It keeps falling into his eyes, until Patton wishes that he could tuck it out of the way, letting his fingers linger on the soft strands, only an inch or so away from Wrath's face-

_Would you calm down?!_ Patton snaps at his runaway heart. As the center of so many of Thomas's emotions, he knows he feels them that much more quickly, that much more intensely. But this is _ridiculous_, he's just _met_ the other side! He has no idea what Wrath even thinks of him. What if he thinks Patton's annoying? Or too weird? Or a bad person? After all, he _did_ say Morality is the reason for the split in sides to begin with...

Patton's hand sneaks up for him to worry at a thumbnail before he forces it back down again. 

"_We...are the Crystal Gems!_" blares from the TV screen and he loses himself in the show for several episodes, trying to ignore Wrath. He is only somewhat successful, particularly after Wrath relaxes a little more, letting his arm drape across the back of the sofa and brush against Patton's shoulders. He's sure if he says something, Wrath will stop, but that's the thing, isn't it? He doesn't _want_ Wrath to stop.

"What do you think so far?" An oblivious Thomas asks. Wrath pauses for a moment, lost in thought.

"I think I like it," he decides. "Although I uh, think that cat thing was creepy as shit."

"You and me both," Patton blurts out, his face stained red. 

"It was a good plot point?" Roman tries. Wrath leans around Patton to give Roman a _look_. Patton tries not to blush at how close Wrath is. He fails. Thankfully, Wrath doesn't seem to notice.

_Calm down, Patton, you're just watching Steven Universe with him, it's _fine_..._

"Is Connie gonna stay around?" Wrath asks. "I like her."

"Oh yeah, she does!" Thomas says happily. "You'll see, she and Steven are such good friends..." Patton leans back, letting Thomas's chatter wash over him, his face burning when he bumps up against Wrath's arm.

They watch a few more episodes, Thomas narrating when Wrath looks confused. He ends up leaning forward in interest when Amethyst's wrestling career comes to light, and Patton hates himself for mourning the loss of that light contact across his shoulders and neck. 

_You're going to scare him away,_ he berates himself, as Wrath and Roman cheer for Amethyst. _You don't want to scare him away, do you? By being too creepy? Come on, Pat._

"Are you okay?" Wrath's rumbling voice interrupts his thoughts, making him jump and squeak.

"F-fine," Patton stammers, clearing his throat. From Wrath's other side, Thomas gives him a doubtful look.

"You sure, Pat?" Thomas asks gently. Patton nods, so fast he feels like a bobblehead. Nausea churns for a brief, unsettling moment.

"Fine," he chirps, praying Deceit doesn't show up to prove otherwise. Thankfully, no hint of yellow shows up. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to reassure Thomas _or_ Wrath.

"Is it something on the show?" Wrath asks. Patton shakes his head.

"It's nothing," he says, continuing to lie and roll the dice on whether or not Deceit will make an appearance. "Just- uh, just some emotional stuff. That's all!"

Thomas's eyes soften.

"You really like Steven Universe, huh, Pat," he says. Patton nods again.

"Yep!" He chirps. "It's such a good show."

_Whew_, he thinks, sinking back into the sofa as the show continues to play. He doesn't notice the skeptical side look Wrath gives him, or the contemplative one that Roman does.

He's much too focused on Wrath's thigh being _so close_ to his, they could practically touch-


	22. soft moments (and remus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every day is gay

Footsteps thunder down the stairs and Deceit and Virgil leap apart like they've been electrified. Not quick enough, however, because Remus's gaze has already squarely landed right on them, and his grin could rival the Cheshire Cat's of _Alice in Wonderland_ infamy. Logan follows more sedately, although no amount of outward calm can hide the hickeys scattered across his neck, his loosened tie, disheveled hair, and crooked glasses. He looks like he's been thoroughly ravished and to Deceit's surprise, so does Remus. He has a healthy smattering of hickeys himself, and his hair is mussed.

"Well, well, well!" Remus crows, coming to a bouncy stop in front of the couch. "What is this I spy?"

"Nothing," Virgil tries, but the red creeping up his neck gives him away. Almost involuntarily, Deceit's tongue tastes the air. He makes a face, scrunching his nose at the taste of the lie. Remus spots it and grins.

"Remus," Logan says, stopping the impulsive side in his tracks. "If they don't want to talk about it, that's fine."

"It's okay," Virgil interrupts, sending Deceit an anxious, hopeful look. "We uh-"

"I like him," Deceit says bluntly. Remus squeals, flapping his hands in the air.

"I _knew_ it!" He says, bright and triumphant. "Did you kiss, I told you to kiss-"

"Remus!" Virgil exclaims, his face turning hot scarlet. "It's none of your business!"

"Virgil is right," Logan interjects calmly. "Come on, Remus. You wanted a snack, remember? I'll get you some more Crofters." He leads Remus into the kitchen. Remus follows willingly enough, although the salacious look he tosses over one shoulder suggests it's not over.

"That's how you know it's true love," Virgil mutters. "Anyone Logan will share his Crofters with _has_ to be special."

"Didn't he share it with you before?" Deceit asks. Virgil reddens again. At this rate, his face is going to be permanently stained pink.

"That's different," Virgil mumbles. "I'm not- not anyone special."

"I beg to differ," Deceit murmurs, lifting one hand to brush the hair out of Virgil's face. The purple strands are soft against his ungloved fingertips. "You are _incredibly_ special. Of course Logan would recognize that."

"You're just saying that because we're dating now," Virgil says. Panic briefly creases his expression. "We uh- we are dating now... Right? It- it's okay if we aren't, I, uh-"

"We are," Deceit interrupts smoothly. "As long as that's what you want. I know that's certainly what I want." Virgil brightens, biting his bottom lip and making Deceit want to kiss the irritation away. The murmur of conversation coming from the kitchen stops him. After all, he doesn't want to put on a show for Remus. That's probably what the creative side wants.

"I do want," Virgil says, nodding eagerly. "I- I want very much."

Deceit scoots closer, drinking in the warmth of Virgil's hoodie and the heat that seems to be uniquely his. Virgil lifts a hand, hesitant, to sink back into Deceit's unruly hair.

"Yes, please," Deceit says softly. The feel of Virgil's fingertips scratching his scalp is divine and his eyes half-lid, his tongue sticking out in a blep once more.

"That is SO gay!" Remus shouts enthusiastically from the doorway, waving a piece of Crofters-slathered toast in the air.

"Go eat your toast before you get crumbs all over the carpet," Deceit retorts. Logan appears, towing Remus back into the kitchen.

"This is still nice," Virgil admits. "I- I'm glad to spend time with you, Dee." Deceit smiles.

"Me, too," he says.


	23. passion is a tempest

Wrath doesn't know how he feels anymore, sitting between Thomas (_Thomas_, of all people! Who isn't shoving him away or treating him like he's lower than dog shit!) and _Morality_. Who also isn't shoving him away or treating him like he belongs back in the cold. Either he's playing the long game (which is hard to conceive of, staring into his guileless brown eyes), or it's genuine.

And if it's genuine, what does that mean? Why does he feel like his stomach is full of butterflies every time Patton shifts his weight and their legs touch? Why does he feel like it's the most daring thing he's ever done, draping his arm over the back of the couch and letting the weight of it skim Patton's shoulders? He waits, heart fluttering in his throat, but Patton doesn't say anything or shrug it off. Instead, he seems to almost relax into it, a softness falling into his expression that Wrath doubts he's even aware of. Wrath kind of misses it when he inevitably ends up moving, leaning forward in his interest in Amethyst's wrestling. _This_ is interesting, he likes this more than cheeseburger backpacks and body horror-twisted fingers.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he notices Patton's expression. The moral side looks utterly bereft, as if something very important has been abruptly torn away from him.

"Are you okay?" Wrath blurts out, before he can stop himself. Patton jumps and squeaks, redness spreading across his face.

"F-fine," Patton stammers, clearing his throat. Wrath raises an eyebrow.

"You sure, Pat?" Thomas asks gently. Good, even he can sense the dishonesty in Patton's response. Patton nods, so fast it looks like he's going to make himself sick for one unsettling moment.

"Fine!" He says brightly. Wrath doesn't believe him for a second. The devastation in his eyes, hidden behind sunniness, says otherwise. Wrath's good at reading other people's expressions. He has to be. Something is wrong in Morality Land, and he doesn't know what.

"Is it something on the show?" Wrath asks, taking a stab in the dark. Patton shakes his head, before he looks like he's thinking better of it. Like he wishes he'd taken the easy out.

"It's nothing," Patton says. "Just- uh, just some emotional stuff. That's all!" _Okay, what kind of emotional stuff?_ Wrath wonders. Then wonders why he cares. Patton's surrounded by people who lo- care about him, after all. It isn't like he needs _Wrath's_ help.

"You really like Steven Universe, huh, Pat," Thomas says, and Wrath could facepalm. Of course Thomas is giving him that easy way out, and Patton's nodding again, almost eager in his relief.

"Yup!" He chirps. "It's such a good show."

And that's the end of that, Wrath supposes, as they all settle back and continue watching. Roman seems to be just as suspicious as Wrath is, though, giving Patton probing looks when the moral side isn't looking.

_Good,_ Wrath thinks. _Maybe he can help Patton figure out what's wrong._

He ignores the feeling of quiet heartbreak at the thought of not doing it himself. It's ridiculous, anyway. He barely met the other side properly today.

Obviously he can't feel that way.

_So why do you?_


	24. a little more serious

Logan gently redirects Remus back into the kitchen, leaving Virgil and Deceit to the living room for the moment. Remus eagerly waves his jam-covered toast around, bouncing in his excitement as Logan settles him in a chair.

"Lo Lo- can I call you that-"

"You may," Logan acknowledges. "Only you, however."

"Lo Lo, can you believe it, I was _right_," Remus crows, taking a messy, jam-slathered bite of his toast. "They like each other, they really, really like each other, like _we_ like each other, like baby birds in a nest, and it's falling out of a tree, and-"

"I think we've been over that particular metaphor before," Logan cuts in, not quite willing to hear about the jet turbine again, especially connected with love. 

"Oh yeah," Remus says. "Still, Lo Lo, it's so _exciting_!" He beams, his head falling back and letting Logan see his handiwork in Technicolor. A faint blush suffuses Logan's cheeks. He didn't mean to be quite so...enthusiastic, judging by the dark bruises he sucked into Remus's neck. But-

He can't regret it, he decides, taking a measured bite of his own toast. He refuses to regret something as beautiful as this, even if it means stepping completely outside his comfort zone. He tossed his comfort zone out the figurative window when he said yes to Remus this morning, anyway. Remus is chaos personified. He is completely antithetical to logic and yet Logan can't help but adore him, anyway.

"Dead rat for your thoughts!" Remus chirps. Logan laughs.

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am," he says. Remus tilts his head to one side, curious. "To have you," Logan clarifies, joy welling over when he sees the shock and delight spill over Remus's face.

"Lucky?" Remus repeats, his voice whisper-soft. "You feel _lucky_?"

"Of course I do," Logan says. "I am."

"I'm lucky to have _you_," Remus blurts. "You- you're the best in the entire world and if anyone wants to argue with that, I'll hit them harder than I hit my brother, because they're wrong, wrong, wrong, and they don't appreciate you enough, Lo Lo-" Logan blinks at the subject change. Remus's face floods with color.

"Er, sorry?" He tries.

"You don't have to apologize," Logan says. "I'm simply curious what you meant."

"It's _true_," Remus says, almost petulant. "You're so important. Even I know how important logic is for Thomas. Even if I prefer chaos." He slides Logan a sly look beneath his lashes. "They ignore you so much. They should listen to you. Especially my brother. And Patton."

"I-" Logan's brain stalls. He doesn't know how to handle this. He doesn't realize his eyes are damp until Remus is there, gentle thumbs wiping away the pending tears.

"You deserve better," Remus whispers. "And I'm gonna make sure you get it."

"Please don't hit anyone with your morning star," is all Logan can think to say. Remus cackles.

"Fine," he says, devouring the last bit of jammy toast he still possesses. "No _morning star_."

Logan suddenly wishes he'd been a little more specific.


	25. working up my courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at this gay shit

_Say something._

_I can't say something! What if he doesn't feel the same way?_

_You're the heart! Take a chance!_

_I can't-_

"Penny for your thoughts?" Wrath asks. Thomas has disappeared into the kitchen in search of more snacks, and Roman followed. Patton can hear their energetic conversation behind his head.

"What?" Patton asks, twisting his fingers together in his lap.

"That's the saying, right?" Wrath questions. "Sorry if I got it wrong. You uh, you just look really out of it. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Patton lies, swallowing hard. He can't stop the guilty cringe, looking around for any flash of yellow.

"No, you aren't," Wrath says with certainty. "That's exactly what Virgil used to do when he lied and didn't want Deceit showing up."

"Oh," Patton says, his cheeks flaming. Of course Wrath would pick up on that. He only lived with Deceit for years. _Stupid,_ he berates himself.

"So uh, what's wrong?" Wrath asks. "I mean, you don't have to tell _me_, but you should probably tell _someone_, Deceit was always going on about confession being good for the soul and shit- sorry-"

"I think I like you," Patton blurts out, his hands immediately crossing over his mouth in horror. Oh, why did he say that, now Wrath is going to pull back in disgust or revulsion, he's going to-

"Huh?" Wrath asks blankly.

"I think I like you," Patton repeats quietly, his shoulders hunching.

"I got that part," Wrath says. "I don't get what you _mean_."

"_Like_ you, like you," Patton clarifies. "I'm sorry, I know we've only really just met, but I just- I get butterflies every time I look at you and I want to know all about you and I want you to know I'm so _sorry_ that I ever thought you- any of you- were bad, I just really didn't know what I was doing, and I know that isn't an excuse, but-"

"Whoa, Patton," Wrath says. "Breathe." Startled, Patton's gaze flies to Wrath's. Instead of disgust, he only looks...concerned? "Breathe, it's okay. I get it. We were all kids back then, anyway. You're fixing it. And uh-" He scratches the back of his neck, his face reddening.

"I don't know how I feel," Wrath admits. "I don't know what those kinds of feelings feel like. But uh, I know I want to know shit- sorry, stuff- about you, too. Is that okay?"

An enormous, trembling smile spreads across Patton's face.

"More than okay," he chokes out. Alarm brightens Wrath's eyes as Patton wipes away tears. "Sorry, I just get so emotional over everything," Patton explains. "I'm fine."

"If you're sure," Wrath says, looking slightly doubtful.

"I am," Patton assures him.

"You are what?" Roman asks, balancing an overflowing bowl of popcorn.

"Fine," Patton says. He doesn't feel the urge to explain what just transpired to Roman or Thomas, and neither does Wrath. They just settle back into the sofa as Thomas queues up more Steven Universe.

Although Wrath's scooted that much closer, their legs now firmly pressed together.


	26. sleepy contemplations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't want it to drag (although writing so much gay shit is nice) so this installment ends here
> 
> fear not, another is incoming
> 
> prepare for a n g s t

Roman yawns, glancing over at Thomas, who looks more than a little heavy-eyed himself. Patton's sound asleep, curled up against Wrath, who- surprisingly- has allowed it, even putting an arm around Patton's shoulders and holding him tight. He looks asleep, too, but Roman's not sure he trusts it. There's an odd...domesticity to the little scene he doesn't want to disrupt.

"I think we should go to bed," Thomas says quietly, his words punctuated by a yawn. Roman nods in agreement. "Who wants to wake the two lovebirds?" Thomas continues, and the world is rocked on Roman's foundations. _...Lovebirds?_

_What does he mean, lovebirds?_

"I really tried not to eavesdrop earlier," Thomas says earnestly. "But I couldn't help overhearing some of it." He bestows a fond smile on Patton and Wrath. "I think it's sweet."

"Of course it is," Roman manages to say, reeling. His head feels very floaty, and he isn't sure why. He has a feeling his brother was right about Virgil and Deceit. And if that's the case, that means...

Well, everyone is paired off, aren't they? Nice and neat and tidy, but Roman isn't tucked in his own little box with his own boyfriend, he's just...alone. Unless he wants to proposition _Thomas_ and the impossibility of that aside, he just doesn't _feel_ that way about Thomas.

He doesn't feel that way about _anyone_ and he doesn't understand why.

"Do you think they'd be comfortable on the couch?" Thomas asks, dithering over an extra blanket and breaking into Roman's thoughts. He hesitates.

"No," he admits. "It is a comfortable couch, don't get me wrong, but I don't think they'd enjoy sleeping on it all night. Not like that, anyway." He waves a hand at their slightly cramped positions. Thomas frowns in consideration.

"All right, you have a good point," he acknowledges. "I suppose there's nothing else to do but wake them up."

"I'm already awake," Wrath's gravelly voice interrupts. Thomas and Roman exchange comically wide looks of surprise. Wrath laughs hoarsely.

"You two are ridiculous," he says, stretching and groaning a little as he works out the kinks. "I uh...I don't want to wake Patton up, but I don't think I can just take him to his room."

"You two are always welcome to stay out here," Thomas says. "You, too, Roman. It could be like a sleepover!"

"Uh, okay," Wrath says. 

"That's probably the best option," Roman admits. "We're still having...issues with depression."

"Thomas is gonna need to do something about that," Wrath points out. "You feeling okay, Thomas?"

"Right now, I am," Thomas says. "But you're right. Both of you. I just-" He sighs. "I don't know what to do about it."

_I wish Logan was here,_ Roman thinks. _He'd know what to say._ But no, Logan was with his brother, and he doesn't even want to _know_ what debauchery his brother is unleashing. Or what depths of depravity _Logan_ is capable of, for that matter.

"I think you go to your doctor," he says anyway, taking a stab in the dark. "And talk to them about it?"

"Probably," Thomas says. He yawns again, covering his mouth with one hand. "Sorry. Table that for tomorrow?"

"Sure," Roman says. "The others should probably give their input, anyway."

"Be careful with Virgil, would you?" Wrath asks. Something odd glitters in his eyes.

"Why?" Roman asks. "We're always careful with him." Wrath scoffs, freezing when Patton shifts in his sleep.

"Think about it," Wrath says. "He's _Anxiety_. We all know he's _more_ than anxiety, but still. How do you think he's gonna react to you wanting to deal with a disorder?"

"Oh," Roman says. "I'm sure it will go fine. He's been dealing with the effects of depression with the rest of us. He'll know it's the right thing to do." Wrath's gaze turns skeptical.

"If you say so," he says.

"Anyway!" Thomas interrupts. "Sleepover time."

They set up the living room, leaving the sofa to Wrath and Patton, but Roman finds himself having a hard time falling asleep. His mind keeps mulling over Wrath's words.

_It will be fine,_ he reassures himself. _Virgil knows that we all love him._

_Everything will be all right._


End file.
